By Laura Hutchinson
ISN’T modern technology amazing? Just last week a solicitor contacted me to say that a case I had on in Bray for her was going to be adjourned. Seeing as how I didn’t want to go all that distance if there wasn’t even going to be a pay cheque at the end of it, she suggested I ask around to see if anyone else was available. But this was no ordinary “asking around”.
It’s not like the olden days where you’d have to ring all the contacts in your phonebook. Or the even more olden days when you’d have to send your pigeon out with a note and wait five days for a reply. No, I just hopped straight on the internet.
Facebook and Twitter were my first stops, with a query if any barrister buddy happened to be in Bray on that particular date. I didn’t really think anything would come of it, and was just about to start texting around, when lo and behold a message came through from a Twitter follower that her brother was a barrister and he would be in Bray that day. Court case crisis averted!
But isn’t it wonderful how someone I’ve never even met came to my rescue in my hour of need? Social media in general is great for people like me, because you get to interact with people without ever actually having to speak to them. So there I was, having sorted out my professional life without ever having left my couch. And it got me thinking about the role technology will play in our justice system in the coming years. I can foresee a time in the not-too-distant future when all cases are done by video-link. But is that necessarily a good thing? Is it progress? Soon we’ll be able to run cases where the judge is sitting on his yacht in the middle of the ocean, wearing trunks and smoking a cigar, and counsel are advocating from their villas in sunny Spain, sporting pyjamas and a pina colada.
Or, worse still, court cases will turn into reality TV shows where the general public is the jury. They’ll text 50000 for guilty and 50001 for not guilty.
They’ll then be presented with a choice of punishments, where again they’ll be able to vote. It’ll be called “I’m an innocent, get me out of here”, or “Moving to Mountjoy”, or “Does a deed of assignment by the beneficiaries to a will cure any defect in a previous deed by the trustees?” (Oh I don’t know, that’s why there are people paid to come up with these things. I’m only paid to answer the question, not to make the question snazzy.)
Courtrooms will be plush, with clean lines, modern furniture, and expensive artworks. Judges’ chambers will be known as the diary room, where they can explain their decision-making process, and what they really think of the defendant, while Gok Wan can jump in with his thoughts on what everyone’s wearing.
Kerry Katona will also be involved in some way cause, let’s face it, she’s in everything else. Dermot O’Leary can present. Inevitably, some participants will fall in love, while others will be caught up in some sordid sex scandal.
This, unfortunately, seems to be the way society is heading. You only have to turn on your TV or look at the cover of any glossy magazine to see for yourself. So yes, technology and social media have their advantages, but the Big Brother element - in the privacy sense and the TV show sense - is certainly a downside. (I simply can’t fathom how people want to sit around in a room watching people sitting around in a room.) So let’s try and reclaim some of the good old days before reality TV and instant messaging and Facebook profiles and Skype.
Dust off your pigeon and give him a practice run up the road. Wipe down your bookshelves and pick out an old favourite. Root out the board games and 5000-piece jigsaw of a clear blue sky. Go nuts. Go retro.
Oh, and lock up that Simon Cowell.