AS I sit down to write it is a beautiful sunny morning, the type of summer day that lives in my memory!
I wonder what I am going to write about as I have been on holidays myself and writing about deep psychotherapeutic issues doesn’t suit my mood today. Indeed, I have put out my first wash on the line, have cut the grass and done some weeding and I’m not sure that writing an article is exactly what I would choose to do just at this moment I would really rather be outside, pottering about at my own pace in the quiet of the morning. And I’m looking for inspiration!
And then I thought what about writing about holidays. We have got into the way of living life at a pretty fast pace, which makes it vital to have down time time out away from the normal pressures and routines of our life. I referred to this in my last article about stress at work, so what better subject to talk about than its opposite summer holidays.
Lots of people have written and sung about holidays! Cliff Richard tells us “We’re all goin on our summer holidays, no more workin’ for a week or two” and truly it seems that “the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer” have arrived (interrupted of course by the unfortunate downpour at the weekend for Oxegen).
The children are off school so no need to stick with the routine of early bed times, doing homework, making lunches and up early. Time to loosen up and slow down.
I became curious what are holidays actually? Wikipedia says that “a holiday is a vacation from a regular occupation for rest or recreation, or a specific trip or journey”.
My daughter says it is a time to indulge yourself. Indulging yourself can sound like doing too much of something like eating or drinking too much or sitting around too much without doing any exercise. To me, indulging myself means something different, like allowing myself do what I please rather than attending to work or chores, doing what makes me feel good.
What makes me feel good usually involves a rest and some fun, time to read the books piling up on my locker nourishment for my body and my soul.
Holidays can be a state of mind where we set out to enjoy the summer, the long days, sometimes sunny, sometimes not, but what of it this is Ireland.
Whether we are away abroad, away in Ireland, or staying at home, we can decide to take the foot off the pedal and take it easy, or easier than usual, and enjoy what is around us.
Individual circumstances might make it difficult to just do what we please, caring for young children can be demanding at any time, and sometimes even more so when they are around all day without structured routines like school. They can become bored and look to be entertained, which is not easy when budgets are tight. Caring for older relatives can also be demanding.
But love and time given with a whole heart does not mean that the carer should not also have give time and love to themselves.
Parenting teenagers over the long summer can be very challenging too, allowing freedom whilst setting boundaries which keep them safe and allow parents some space and free time. Our days can be even busier and pressurised than normal and the concept of holiday can feel very meaningless.
Nonetheless, holidays are very important in helping us recharge our batteries. So how about giving some thought to the following questions?
Firstly, how can you make the summer enjoyable for your family without breaking the bank?
Maybe by going back to some of the old ways like parks or the seaside rather than theme parks for example, and picnics rather than restaurants.
Next, and most important, whether you are going away or staying at home how can you build in time for rest and fun and time out for yourself without feeling guilty?
What does it for you? What makes you feel good? How can you take some time each day and / or each week to do what you please and what might you like to do in this space? Then go for it, in whatever way suits and as best you can!
As the song says its “ Summertime and the livin’ is easy”! Enjoy!
Evelyn Burke, MIACP, Counsellor / Psychotherapist practising in Naas www.naascounselling.ie