“The present is the only time that any of us have to be alive – to know anything to perceive – to learn – to act – to change – to heal!”
This is a quote from Joh Kabat-Zinn, the founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and Centre for Mindfulness. I have occasionally referred to Mindfulness over the months and I feel it would be useful now to explore what it is and how it can help us.
So what is Mindfulness? Kabat-Zinn says that: Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose in the present moment and without judgement!
Mindfulness comes from both eastern and western spiritual traditions and it means being aware of whatever you are doing, while you are doing it, rather than thinking about something that has already happened, or planning or worrying about something that might happen in the future.
Just for a few minutes why don’t you try out this exercise. Whatever you are doing, whether it is playing with the children, driving, doing the washing up, looking at the sunset, or eating a peach, pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. Are you fully engaged with what you are doing?
For example, if you are eating a peach, are you really appreciating the experience, feeling the texture of the peach in your hand, how ripe or hard it is, the smell of it, the flavour of it bursting into your mouth, the sensation of the juice dripping down over your chin, the sheer pleasure of eating a summer fruit? Or are you just consuming it, automatically, not really noticing how much (or little) you are enjoying it with your thoughts elsewhere? Have you eaten it mindfully, alive to the simple pleasure you got from it or are the moments eating the peach lost to you?
Mindfulness is the first scenario– being fully present to what is happening right now rather than being on automatic pilot.
Automatic pilot can have us rushing from one activity to another without being properly involved in any of it, doing one thing while thinking about something else, so that we end up not really experiencing the beauty or happiness of the space we are actually in.
John O’Donohoe in his book Anam Cara says: “Time and again we miss out on the great treasures of our lives because we are so restless. In our minds we are always somewhere else, we are seldom in the place where we stand and that time is now.”
Because our lives are so busy in today’s world the need to slow down has become ever more important, but possibly also more difficult. Life and situations can be very difficult to cope with and we would like things to be different; we might like to have more control over them.
But, things are as they are rather than as we would like them to be. And because we can feel so hyped up and stressed our capacity to relax can be almost impossible to find. Mindfulness can assist us in this by grounding us in the present and helping us find calm and stability when we are experiencing painful emotions and distress.
To begin practising mindfulness we need to make a choice to stop and pay attention to our experience as it is unfolding.
To start, for the next few minutes just pay attention to your breathing. Focus on your breath by feeling the air coming in and going out through your nostrils or the sensation of your chest or tummy rising and falling as you breathe in and out. Don’t try to change how you are breathing, just stay with it exactly as it is. See if you can keep your attention on it.
If you notice your mind is wandering off into thought, that’s OK because thinking is what our minds do best. Just notice it and gently bring your attention back to the breath.
It might help to focus your attention on the breath by silently saying the word “in” as you breathe in and “out” as you breathe out. If you notice your breathing is choppy or shallow, that’s OK too, let it be however it is without any judgement or self criticism by just continuing to breathe ... in ... and ... out ... in ... and ... out ... for the full duration of this breath ... and this breath ... and this breath ...in your own time. By continuing to pay attention to your breathing rather than your anxious or angry thoughts you will become more anchored in the present moment. As your breathing becomes calmer, so will your body and mind.
In my next column I will talk about the formal practice of mindfulness meditation. In the meantime, you might like to try living more mindfully than you have been, moment by moment.
“No words are necessary. To see into reality ..... just be!” Rumi
Evelyn Burke, MIACP, Counsellor / Psychotherapist practising in Naas
www.naascounselling.ie