MINDFULNESS MEDITATION PART 2
The birds they sang at break of day
‘Start again’ I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what has passed away
Or what is yet to be
Wise words from the master of song and poetry who swept 20,000 of us away with the magic of his presence at Lissadell recently! There is only now, this moment, yet we can torment ourselves by dwelling on what is gone and which we have no power to change or on what might be going to happen in the future. We just have this moment to live, as best we can.
Nadine Stair, an 85-year-old American woman, said: ‘Oh I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again I’d have more of them. In fact I’d try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.”
Research has found that when people practice mindfulness meditation regularly there are measurable positive changes in their lives. It can help people cope with stress, anxiety, recurrent depression and chronic pain.
More recently Tony Bates and Faye Scanlan of Headstrong, the National Centre for Youth Mental Health undertook a pilot study to explore the benefits of mindfulness training for people recovering from addiction called the Deora Mindfulness Programme. They found the results to be encouraging in this area also.
Mindfulness meditation is the formal practice of setting aside some time to be still, become aware of your breathing and become present to yourself in this moment. Again, in the words of Jon Kabat Zinn “meditation.....is about stopping and being present, that is all”.
What can happen when we are faced with a situation that is difficult or not going the way we would like is that we react in the way we have become used to, a habit or pattern of behaviour. We feel hurt that someone is not treating us with consideration, aggrieved that someone is not listening to us or angry that someone is putting us down. We feel upset, our bodies become tense, our thoughts take off.
Meditation allows us to learn how to steady the mind by focusing on our breathing and practicing bringing our attention back to the present moment.
It allows us learn how to ground ourselves in the present moment and deal with strong emotions. Our minds, in moving away from endless negative rumination about the future or the past, gradually become calm and the body becomes more relaxed.
In mindfulness meditation we “sit” (the term used for sitting meditation ) with our eyes closed in a comfortable upright position on a meditation stool or cushion, or a chair, for a period of time that we decide on, maybe 10, 20 or 30 minutes. We tune into the feeling of the breath moving in and out of the body, focusing on the feeling of the belly expanding gently on each in breath and receding gently with each out breath, allowing ourselves to dwell here moment by moment, just following the breath.
Each time we notice that our minds have gone off somewhere else we just bring our attention back to the sensation of the belly rising and falling with the breath. If it wanders off 100 times we bring our attention back to the breath 100 times, intentionally cultivating an attitude of patients and gentleness, choosing not to judge or react to any thoughts or feelings. Anything that comes into the field of awareness is OK just sit with it, breathe with it and observe it in the present moment continually seeing and letting be, seeing and letting go, rejecting nothing, pursuing nothing.
Although we may find that we become more relaxed, that is not the objective of meditation. We are not trying to get anywhere or achieve anything, even relaxation. We are just being fully present to what is real in this moment, observing it rather than being hooked into it. We come to notice that, if we let them, thoughts and feelings come and go. We begin to notice how we are with ourselves; maybe critical of ourselves that we are still thinking but thinking is what our mind does best so why criticise it? Maybe we are self critical in other situations too?
Maybe we are feeling anxious and berating ourselves for it? Just notice what is there and allow it. Don’t get into a fight with yourself about it. Thinking a negative thought?
See the thought for what it is a mental event not reality. Rather than trying to avoid it or change it just accept it and let it be there without getting hooked into it and the negative spiral which follows.
Mindfulness meditation does not change what is there. It allows us notice what is real and how we relate to it. It is the paradox of change that when we can allow things to be as they are change often happens of its own accord. If we can allow the anxious feeling and thoughts be there rather than getting more anxious or angry with them, and see them as just a part of us rather than letting them define us we stop them spiralling out of proportion. Mindfulness meditation gives us the space to observe & notice rather than becoming overwhelmed. Grounding ourselves in the present allows us choose different ways of responding and living our lives.
As Jon Kabat Zinn says: “We can’t stop the waves but we can learn to surf’.
Evelyn Burke, MIACP, Counsellor / Psychotherapist practising in Naas
www.naascounselling.ie