HERE we are! The Easter holidays are over and the Easter Bunny has been and gone, Children are back at school, having had a well deserved break after the long hard winter.
In some households teenagers are facing into the Junior Cert or Leaving Cert in June and the realisation that exams are coming closer is beginning to impact on both students and parents.
After the marathon of 5th and 6th years, the sprint towards the final finish is coming into sight! Maybe you, the parent, are noticing that your student seems moody and is spending a lot of time at the books, or seems a bit laid back, with seemingly no thought of study.
Maybe this is already a source of conflict. You know it’s important for them to make good use of the time that is left and get the result they are capable of. But your efforts are falling on deaf ears! The question then becomes “how can I get my child to take studying more seriously?” The answer? Maybe you can, or maybe you can’t!
Your child may already be feeling the stress of the approaching exam and the worry that there just isn’t enough time to learn all they need to; be regretting that they haven’t studied hard enough and be unable to get started because of the fear of facing what has to be done. Your child may already be studying hard and still be feeling quite daunted. Or your child may have a good instinct for how much has to be done to get the points needed for the chosen course. Each child is unique.
I say child, but of course 6th year students are maturing, developing a sense of themselves and becoming more independent, each in their own way and at their own rate.
Maybe the most important message for you as parent to convey is that you love your child, that you want the best for him / her, that (unbelievable though it may seem) you have some life experience and you just might be worth listening to and above all that you are there to support and accept – just as he or she is. Sitting down together to talk about how study will be approached, what boundaries need to be in place around social life; and how you can be of support will be very useful and will keep the channels of communication open between you.
You can support your student in many ways. You can reassure that there is still time to get organised and study by emphasising how much can be learnt in the next two months.
You can encourage them to make a study / revision plan with a balance of study and leisure time. If they are studying at home you can (as far as is possible) make available a study space that is quiet and free from distraction, well ventilated without being too warm or too cold, with table and chair, shelves for their books and pens etc, You can provide nourishing food.
You can encourage getting stuck into the studying early and stopping by about 9.30, getting enough sleep, eating breakfast and taking some exercise each day. You can be around for them to download to when they are feeling nervous or stressed. You can encourage them to take some time out for fun!
If you are doing all this you are doing all you can. You cannot do the exam for them! That is their gig!
Evelyn Burke, MIACP, Counsellor / Psychotherapist practising in Naas
www.naascounselling.ie