Electric Picnic Survival Guide

By John Davis The most wonderful time of the year has once again rolled around. The shops are full of tents and camping chairs, off-licences are seeing a boom in business and a palpable sense of frenzied anticipation is hanging over Laois. This can mean only one thing: Electric Picnic is coming to town.

While it’s very easy to get caught up in all the excitement, it is also of paramount importance to keep a level head as you prepare for Ireland’s biggest music festival. First-time festival goers must be warned: Electric Picnic is not for the faint hearted. Failure to prepare accordingly may carry consequences of a most dire nature. Such consequences may be a poorly positioned tent, missing a major act or worst of all: the Monday morning hangover. As a veteran of the festival, I am taking it upon myself to provide a comprehensive guide that, if followed diligently, may prevent such egregious events from ever arising.

From my personal experience, one’s enjoyment of the festival hinges on one’s campsite experience. All the attractions and performances of the Main Arena are a guarantee and never fail to impress. However, the campsite is a different beast entirely - one that can be tough to wrangle. Electric Picnic boasts five expansive campsites, each offering a unique experience. In Poets site, campers can enjoy peace and relaxation through yoga, pilates and meditation experiences. An Láthair Ghaeltachta provides an immersive haven for Irish speakers who wish to enjoy the entire weekend as Gaeilge. Please note this campsite must be prebooked. Eco Camp focuses on sustainability and enables campers to meet like-minded folk committed to leaving no trace of their festival merry-making. Glitterball is advertised as a gender-inclusive place and offers ample shower facilities and even mirrors and plugs to greater facilitate the beautifying process. Like An Láthair Ghaeltachta, Glitterball must be pre-booked.

The Legendary Campsites (Jimmy Hendrix, Andy Warhol, Janis Joplin) are certainly the most infamous of the campsites. A weekend in Jimmy Hendrix is probably the closest our generation will come to trench warfare. While the Eco Camp proudly focuses on sustainability, I am convinced Jimmy Hendrix specialises in its own brand of unbridled chaos. Chaos of the best kind, of course. All this is to say that while the Legendary Campsites certainly guarantee the most fun, they are in no way capable of providing a moment’s relaxation. If you would rather not spend your weekend on the frontlines and plan on having a fully functional tent by the end of the weekend, I would recommend a stay in Poets or Eco Camp. However, if you do not buy into such woke nonsense as “sleep” or do not believe in the old-fashioned idea of “personal belongings”, and simply want to spend your weekend making memories you’ll never remember, I believe a sojourn in Jimmy Hendrix is desirable.

Once you have chosen a campsite to settle in, the next objective is where exactly to pitch your tent. Once again, this is no simple task. There are in fact a number of factors to consider when deciding where to pitch. Most importantly, do not set up your tent at the bottom of a slope or in a hollow. As we all know, the threat of Biblical rainfall ever hangs over Electric Picnic weekend. Your best chance at surviving such an eventuality is having a tent on higher ground. As someone who survived the Great Rain of ’22, I saw many a foolish camper who pitched their tent downslope, swiftly washed away by the wrath of the Festival Gods, never to be seen again.

We then move inside the tent: what do you pack for the weekend? As previously mentioned, the weather for Electric Picnic is even more unpredictable than usual Irish weather. Be sure to pack plenty of warm, comfortable clothes and shoes that somehow balance durability with disposability, because rest assured your shoes will not survive the weekend. Another friendly tip: take caution that your wardrobe for the weekend does not feature too many Penney’s band/concert t-shirts, lest you be labelled the dreaded “Penney’s Band T-Shirt Final Boss”. Clothing aside, some quick and easy snacks to refuel throughout the weekend is also advised. Considering a rather regrettable amount of alcohol is likely to be consumed by many over the three days, bringing a pack of electrolytes will go a long way in fending off the inevitable hangovers.

The final step to consider in your Picnic Planning Process™ is what acts you want to see and building a schedule around them. Unfortunately, with such a star-studded line-up, it is not uncommon to find stage times clashing and being faced with an impossible Sophie’s Choice situation. To help prevent this, the Electric Picnic app allows you to highlight the acts you want to see and builds you a personal line-up to help map your weekend. This may be your best chance at avoiding any difficult decision-making.

Electric Picnic truly is a magical time. But like Christmas, it can also be a stressful time. We spend all year looking forward to it, putting pressure on ourselves to make it as good as last year; making sure we’ve bought everything we need in time and then before we know it the big day comes and you’re at a techno rave somewhere in Stradbally woods at 3am, asking yourself “Whose shoes am I wearing?” Hopefully this friendly survival guide will be of use to some festival goers. All we can do now is pray that the Festival Gods look kindly on us mere mortals and grant us a dry weekend.