In conversation with...Grace Clifford
Grace Clifford in Championship action for Eadestown last week against Suncroft Photo: Aisling Hyland
Grace Clifford is one of Kildare’s most decorated captains along with Brian Byrne with the hurlers. The Eadestown player and her husband, Maurice Sexton, became proud parents of their first baby, Tomás, just nine weeks ago but Grace has since returned to training and playing with her club and she is now looking forward playing in the knock out stages of the Joe Mallon Motors Kildare LGFA senior football championship.
When our Sports Editor asked me to interview Grace on her return to playing after becoming a mother, I felt a bit uneasy. I know a bit about sport but what qualifications would I have to talk to Grace about pregnancy, motherhood and playing again. After all I didn’t interview her husband, Maurice, on the same matter. Would I say the wrong things? Would I say something inappropriate? I needn’t have worried because as usual Grace put me at ease as I spoke to her while she and Tomás prepared to go to watch Maurice play for Ardclough in the UPMC Kildare SHC Round 3 in Manguard Park on Thursday night last. What transpired, I hope, is a human-interest story with a sporting twist.
First of all, Grace, how are you since the birth of Tomás?
Well, he was a late arrival, Pat. He came eleven days late. He arrived on 3 July. All is good with him, Thank God.
For a player or somebody who was so active for maybe the last 25 years or so what was it like to become less active during the pregnancy or how did you stay active?
When I look back at the time that I found out that I was pregnant, it was in the middle of the Leinster Championship, so not ideal timing football wise. I was after coming from a season where we played at quite on high level. We were doing really pretty well in the Leinster Championship too. So, the first thing I had to do was have a conversation with my doctor because I’m an active person. The change was already happening because I wasn’t going to be involved in team sport, which I knew was going to be the case for a couple of months. For me if I couldn’t be my usual active self I felt from a mental health perspective it could be a struggle. You're aware of all these things as you hear all these stories as people are talking more and more about those things. The first conversation with my doctor, once I knew that everything was OK, I asked what was the situation with exercise. The advice was, once I felt good, I could still train away and try and keep up the levels. To be quite honest with you during Covid I got really into the running and it became something I loved. In many ways I always kind of felt, do I want a little bit of a break from football and maybe try and see what I can do in running and do a few half marathons. Something like that was already on my mind again. When I became pregnant, I said, do you know what I’ll do a bit of gym and do my running. To be honest up to a week before Tomás actually came I was running pretty much most days or maybe every second day in the last month or so because I felt good. If there was a day that I didn't feel good then I listened to my body and that was it. Being honest it actually really helped the pregnancy. You are really in tune with your body when you’re an athlete. You know how your body feels, you know when your body needs recovery so I found that actually helped with the pregnancy. I was in tune with how I felt and Thank God I was one of the lucky ones, I wasn’t sick at any stage. As pregnancies go, I had a pretty easy pregnancy. But it's easy for me to say, Oh I was able to get out running but on the other hand I had a friend who just had her baby a couple of days ago and she had a fierce sick pregnancy. If I was one of those, I probably wouldn’t be having this conversation with you now. So, yeah, I was able to keep moving and I definitely kept up the running up. I did the VHI Mini Marathon when I was 37 weeks pregnant and I just used it as a chance to say, right I’m pregnant but I’m still going to keep myself fit for when, Please God, I do return and maybe get my hunger back as well. I don’t mean that my hunger was gone but I was at a bit of a crossroads in my career. I was thinking will I go and do a bit of running and when this happened, I said, you know what, let's just get keep the fitness up because I love being active. Thankfully that really, really worked in my favour and it really helped me. Now being on this side of it, it’s been a little bit easier.
What was your normal routine like before you became pregnant from a training and fitness regime point of view.
I would have three pitch sessions a week and then we would have had two gyms on top of that. I would have used running as my recovery. If we had a championship match on a Sunday, generally Monday would always be recovery day so I would have done a 5K run because that worked for me. Other people would be better with the ice baths. Some of the girls might have thought I was mad but I would always say, look, I’m older and if I stop, I’ll seize up. Depending on how I felt I could do a big game on a Sunday I would probably put in 5K on my own time on top of gym sessions. Maybe on my 5K run I would be reviewing the match in my head. I felt it was a good 30 minutes to myself. Some days if you drove past me. you’d say, she’s walking. I was always in tune with my body and I flushed out the heavy legs. Then when I’d go back to Eadestown I’d do the same. Now I’ve continued with my bit of running.
How did you cope with the fact that you were a team player for so long and all of a sudden it was just yourself and Maurice waiting for a lovely baby to arrive.
Yeah, to be honest, I don't think I've ever been to as many GAA games as I did during my pregnancy. I was up at the pitch every night watching U14 matches and everything. Eadestown were still training so I was popping up to the girls and I was still posting in my runs every week as if I was just on holidays. As the pregnancy went on, I felt better in the mornings so I was doing my runs in the morning but in the early stages I was able to do my runs when the girls were on the pitch. They might do a bit of rehab in the gym and I would have joined them. I tried to replace it but you can’t replace being in a dressing room. I have to say I really missed it. Definitely in the latter stages, I was Eadestown’s No 1 fan. I was at every game. I was nearly watching the paint dry up there. It was great and I’m just delighted now that I’m back our on the field because nothing can replace that feeling of actually being on the pitch with the team and being in the dressing room with your team. Nothing can replace that.
Taking part in the Mini Marathon what did that do for you and did you enjoy the experience?
Yes. I suppose I kind of felt that during the pregnancy I hoped I could keep running. The Mini Marathon was in June so I said if I sign up for that it would give me a motivation and give me and end goal. I felt that if I can keep the running up to 37 weeks that would be unbelievable, it might help the pregnancy go by a little bit quicker. In my own mind when I was going to do my runs every week, I would say, right, this is for the Mini Marathon even though, probably, I would have been doing it anyway. It was an extra motivation; a bit of a goal and it lined up quite well with the pregnancy time lines. What I used to say to myself was, look, if I don’t feel right when it comes around, I’m not going to put pressure on myself. You know how the Mini Marathon is, you can walk it, it’s for everyone. My Mam was saying that I was crazy but I told her I probably would walk it when it came around but thankfully when it did come I actually felt fine and I was able to run it.
When Tomás arrived how did yourself and Maurice approach parenthood?
Well, we hadn’t a clue. I’m from a big family in Eadestown and I have an awful lot of cousins and I grew up around a lot of babies. I was saying things to Maurice before that I was very nervous. Now it’s very different when the baby’s your own and you are fully responsible. We’re easy going and that’s the kind of approach that we have taken so far. Everybody seems to be saying that he seems to be a very chilled child so I’m hoping that’s because we have taken that approach ourselves. We take each day as it comes. There are some days not as easy as others, especially if he's in one of those cranky forms and I'm trying to get out to training. I'm very lucky. For my parents it’s their first grandchild so they're really over the moon and also very, very keen babysitters. They’re nearly pushing me at the door to go to training and all that type of thing. It is tough, it is one of the hardest things I've done so far but one of the most amazing as well as the most rewarding.
Did it help that Maurice himself is an athlete, is a sports person and maybe he understood you better than somebody who might not have any interest in sport?
Yeah, absolutely. I remember saying, Maurice I want to run and he would say go with it. He was very supportive and he understood. He was probably nervous of what’s she going to be like when she has no training to go to so when I said that I was going to keep moving and keep active he was probably more relieved because he probably would have got the brunt of it. He has transferred up here now so I was able to go and support him as well. Over the years he was always prioritising my career so it was nice that I was able to go and support him for the last couple of months.
When did you decide to go back playing?
I wanted to go back after two weeks. The doctors always advise the six-week mark but some people can be ten weeks but six weeks is kind of an average. After about three weeks I was feeling really good so I started to do my own bit of running again and after a month I decided to go back. I have been back the last four weeks and I’m loving being back. There is a special group there, a lot of motivation, a lot of competitiveness. We’re putting the head down to try and push on for the championship. It’s great, putting the boots back on and having something to occupy your mind. Now the Group Stages are done and everyone is in a Quarter Final so it’s crunch time for everyone now. I’m looking forward to the next two weeks preparing for our Quarter Final against Kill, playing against Laoise (Lenehan). Kill are a tough bunch and it will be a good game for sure.
Have your teammates or indeed your opponents treated you any differently since you became a mother?
No, no! Tomás has been in for a few meetings and the girls love having him around. At one point they were oohing and aahing over him and I was nearly saying, look lads, we have a championship coming up. They have been really, really good and there has been absolutely no pressure from the Management. When I was posting my runs in every week and every time Ger Kavanagh would write back, take it easy, for the full nine months of the pregnancy. Since I’ve come back, they have been very good too and really trying to ease me back in. If I had my way, I’d be all guns blazing but they’re really building me back up and I can’t thank them enough.
I guess you were keeping your eye on the Kildare team over the season.
I was and I went to pretty much all the home games and I was able to watch the games that were streamed as well. It was strange to be on the other side of it. I actually enjoyed going to watch the games. A lot of those girls are my best friends and I meet up with them still and continue to be in touch with all of them. I was delighted they had such a great year and credit to the Management Team and the girls because if you look at the two teams that were in the All-Ireland Final, they were two teams that Kildare had great results against, very little between them a lot of times. It’s an exciting time for Kildare and we are seeing the proof of that with the underage coming through. I think the gap seems to be much less and the girls will get a lot of confidence from what happen this year to bring into next year and God, anything can happen.
Has there been any discussion with the Management or will there be discussion or do you have ambitions to return as a county player?
At the moment my focus is to get back to play with Eadestown. If I was able to get myself back and if they felt that I had something to offer I wouldn’t rule out ever putting back on the white jersey again. I love playing but at the moment my focus is 100% Eadestown, my focus is on getting back right and to win the county. That’s where my head is at but I’d never say never and if everything is lined right, I would love the opportunity (to play for Kildare).
Of course, your former manager, Diane O’Hora, is now manager of her native Mayo.
I’m absolutely thrilled for her. In fairness, when she was our manager, you would have thought she was from Kildare the way she threw herself into it but your home county is your home county. She loves Mayo but even when we played against Mayo you wouldn't have even thought she was from there. I'm trying to think about how I feel about Kildare and I know she feels the same about Mayo, if not more. I've been texting her back and forth and I do know she's absolutely over the moon. I do wish her the very best of luck but not too much either as they are senior as well like Kildare. I wish he well but not too well!
Another sparring partner of yours, Neasa Dooley, is doing very well over in Australia and scored two goals in her debut game.
Yeah, oh, my God, she’s absolutely flying. I have been messaging her since the game and there is no more deserving person. She just worked so hard and it’s not easy to go over there to basically the top team over there as well and put your marker down so fair play to her. And to be honest, I reckon that's only the start for her. I think she'll absolutely continue to tear it up over there because of all her skills and everything she brings to the game. Unfortunately, the tackling rule in ladies football here leaves a lot to be desired, really, we'd all rather a little more contact. Nessa has that physicality. A lot of forwards are mad about physicality but she loves that. For her to be able to then unlock that other element of her game as well, that aggression that she can bring, I think she's really, really going to have a super career over there.
Finally, Grace, and bearing in mind that you have a particular athletic body, what advice would you give to expectant mothers and new mothers also?
I suppose the first thing I’d say, Pat, is don’t get caught up in what loads of other people are doing because that’s what I did at the beginning. The internet is a wonderful place but deadly dangerous too. There is a lot of misinformation there. The biggest thing is that you have got to listen to your body. I was able to keep up the running because, as my doctor said, I played at that level before. I would never advise a person who is now pregnant and has never run before to go running now because that would be crazy. If you’ve done it before and you feel good and once you have approval from your doctor then you can do it. It’s important not just for your body but for your head as well. There are loads of examples of women out there who stay going in the gym but equally if you are a person that doesn’t feel right to do it and your priority is your baby’s health and your own, you just have to listen to your body. The months do fly and if you physically cannot exercise for those months don’t be putting yourself under pressure. You’ll be back before you know it and Please God, you’ll have a healthy baby and you’ll be back to things then. You just have to listen to your body and to your doctor and if you feel good there is no reason why you can’t keep your body moving.
