Kildare foster family call their role an ‘honour’
Shirley Graham and Sean Egan and their daughter Phoebe
THIS week marks the beginning of Foster Care Awareness Week and it is important to highlight the ever-necessary role of foster carers and those who support them within our local communities.
One foster couple based in Kill, Kildare, became involved in foster care through a leading agency Foster First Ireland (FFI) over a year ago when they were looking to expand their family, and describe the role as an “honour”.
Shirley Graham and Sean Egan and their daughter Phoebe lived for many years in Galway before moving to the UAE for a career opportunity.
When they moved back to Kildare two years ago, they decided that they wanted a bigger family.
Shirley said: “We'd always want to extend our family. We have big hearts, a big home, and a lot of love, but unfortunately it couldn't happen due to medical reasons.
“So when we came home, we made the decision. Then we had the opportunity to look at ways we could open up our home, and fostering seemed like the ideal one.”
One meeting with Jessica Mooney from FFI was what solidified the family’s choice.
“Jessica called to the house one day in July and just told us everything about FFI. And we were like, oh my goodness, we should have done this ages ago.”
The family got stuck right into their foster care journey, and after a lot of meetings, paperwork, and interviews got approved as foster parents in February 2024.
Once they were approved, the family was appointed a link social worker to go through placement matches that would suit their family.
After some time, a match was made.
“The referral came through. We had a lot of talk about it, a lot of chatting with our link social worker, and then he arrived and he's been here with us a year next month. And it feels like he's been here forever.”
The foster child joined the family and fit right in, becoming “part of the gang”.
Shirley said: “It's really funny because we would have had the honeymoon phase at the beginning, like everybody's on their best behaviour, and then suddenly they're chasing each other in the garden with the sweeping brush.”
While foster parenting can sometimes be challenging, Sean and Shirley view the role as a duty of care to children in need.
“They're your responsibility to do what you can in a safe, calm, loving house.
"And whether it's for two weeks as emergency care or one year or six years or seven years, you do your best.
“If you can make a little bit of a difference to a small person's life, whether it's that they remember the heart you draw on their hand or the teddy bear that they brought to bed or their favourite book, and then you'll share the same with the next child.”
The family are thankful for the wide range of supports they get with FFI, including regular check-ins and informal gatherings with other foster carers.
Shirley said: “Social workers come out every two weeks and then after six months they come once a month. And it's very informal. It's not like how I thought it was going to be.
"There's no paperwork. There's no tick boxes. They just want to get a feel that you're doing okay.
“Then you're given the option of seeing a psychotherapist. I've had two visits from the psychotherapist and they're brilliant. I think it's important to talk to people who understand.
“And then we have summer days, we have carer group every month. So we meet other carers once a month for informal chats and they're safe spaces to talk.”
Shirley and Sean also credit their family and friends for the support they gave them throughout their journey.
For those interested, Shirley recommends giving FFI a call:
“If it's on your radar and you're thinking about it, ring FFI, speak to Jessica.
“There's so much preparation, but just take small little steps.”
