Teens' evidence rules against dad's access at Kildare court

“I am not going to go against the wishes of two teenagers,” said a judge, as he refused an estranged father court access to his two children.

Both teens, dressed in school uniform, took time off school to appear behind closed doors at Athy Family Court to say their piece after their father had made his formal application for some visitation.

The younger of the two took the stand first, and when she did, Judge Desmond Zaidan reassured her with: “I’m sorry you have to be brought in to try and restore it between your mom and dad.”

“Now, you wanted to speak with me over access to your dad?” he asked.

She told the judge that she lives full-time with her mam.

When he asked did she want to give her father a chance, she replied: “No. He’s a stranger to me.”

“How old were you when you last saw your dad?” the judge asked.

“A few years ago,” said the girl.

“You know your dad loves you, and you may regret this when you’re 18?” he warned gently.

“Is this your own free will?” he asked, and the girl nodded.

Judge Zaidan reminded her that this decision was not final, and ”if you change your mind any time before you’re 18, just notify the court”.

“As a man and a dad, it saddens me you don’t want to see him,” commented the judge.

“He hasn’t played any part in raising you, we’re not perfect, but everybody deserves a second chance,” he added.

“There’d be nothing shameful if you change your mind, and it may help you grow up to be a well-balanced woman. 

"I believe everyone deserves to see their mum and dad,” he said.

Next up was her brother, who the judge also tried to put at ease.

“When the youth talked briefly how school, the judge asked: “How are you doing? Kickin’ ass?” to plenty of settling laughter.

“Again, I’m sorry you have to come here and I’m not here to criticise your dad, but I believe it’s very important for everyone to get on with their mum and dad,” said the judge to the teen.

“But saying that, I respect your wishes, so what’s your view on this?” 

“I haven’t seen him in three or four years and he’s practically a stranger to me,” said the teenager.

“That’s very sad,” commented the judge.

“So, your mother has been raising you with little or no help from your dad?” he asked, and the youth nodded.

“What do you want to do after school?” 

“Something like accounting,” said the lad.

 The judge told the teen the same as his sister: “if you change your mind before you’re 18, I will do that for you.”

He let them stand down until second calling, when both parents could also attend.

Addressing them directly, he pointed out that “both (named teens) came across very well but say they don’t want access to their father”.

“(Named son) said ‘I barely know him’, so I’m not going to force these guys,” said the judge.

“I tried to persuade them and offered if they change their minds before 18 … but I’m not going to go against their wishes,” he said.

“I will refuse access,” he ruled.