Living Greener: Ancient philosophy for a modern world
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IN these increasingly troubled times a philosophy has resurged in popularity, one that helped humans deal with difficult times for 2,300 years – Stoicism.
The word ‘stoic’ has come to mean someone who never shows emotion, but real Stoic philosophy is actually a practical guide to living your best and happiest life, by separating the events in your life into what you can control and what you can’t, and deciding not to stress about the latter.
You can control whether you eat healthy and exercise as you get older; you can’t control what happens next in the Middle East.
Thus, you should take a deep breath and start working on the first category, and stop worrying about the second. That’s easier said than done, of course, but the Stoics came up with a number of exercises to help.
The word ‘stoic’ has come to mean someone who never shows emotion, but real Stoic philosophy is actually a practical guide to living your best and happiest life, by separating the events in your life into what you can control and what you can’t.
You decide not to stress about the latter. You can control whether you eat healthy and exercise as you get older; you can’t control what happens next in the Middle East.
Thus, you should take a deep breath and start working on the first category, and stop worrying about the second. That’s easier said than done, of course, but the Stoics came up with a number of exercises to help.
When I was a child and about to visit a family member in the hospital, I feared what they would look like in a hospital bed and hooked up to tubes. On the way there, my aunt Imy whispered something to me that I’ve never forgotten: “Picture the worst thing you can -- that way, when you see them, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how good they look.” It seemed like a bizarre way to comfort a child, but it worked, and while I didn’t realise it at the time, that’s one of the core exercises of Stoicism; to continually anticipate the worst, so that no calamity takes you by surprise.
We’re not horrified by rain, because we know rain is coming sooner or later. In the same way, if we remind ourselves that we could experience sickness, loss and grief, these things will not blindside us when they appear, and the majority of days that don’t bring these tragedies will seem like a blessing.
I lost a daughter, and miss her. I realise, though, that I had many treasured years with her, and they will never be undone. If you’re tempted to grow morose when tradedy strikes you, remind yourself how much worse it could have been, or how much you have to be grateful for. There are people who would give everything to have what you have now.
When life doesn’t go the way we plan – when you experience a loss, a misfortune, a pandemic -- you can decide to spend weeks being angry or self-pitying, and when that’s done you’ll have lost weeks of your life but nothing will have changed. Or you can remind yourself of all the reasons to be grateful; if you’re reading this, you can still see, while other people can’t.
If you think more people should be delivering food to elderly shut-ins in your area, then ‘more people’ needs to become ‘you’. If you think that more people in your family should keep in touch, then ‘more people’ means ‘you’. If you think the whole world needs to become better – and it does – then right now, at this moment, the whole world means you. You can only control one thing in the world – yourself. Control that one thing. As Irish playwright Samuel Beckett said, “at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not.”
This sounds counter-intuitive for cheering up someone in a difficult situation, but as you agonise over your own problems, remember that they’ll seem pretty insignificant when you’re on your deathbed. Right now there’s a world of people around you preoccupied with their own problems – especially this holiday season, when many people are at the end of their tether. Make someone else’s day better if you can, and that act alone will make yours better.
