Family split laid bare in Athy court
"He doesn’t come home after drinking, then he’s breaking up the house, and recently I saw him under the effect of cocaine in town," alleged the mother
A MAN accused of assault, abuse, house damage and cocaine use will still get four hours of supervised access to the child [under 10] each week – but only if supervised by the mother for the next fortnight.
The couple appeared either side of Athy District Court during family law hearings as he petitioned for the visitation rights he was due, claiming the mother was restricting these.
The mother claimed he hadn't seen their child since July, but he countered that it was in early September.
The mother pointed out that he only gets supervised visits, and because he has vetoed all suggestions, the only other option is for neutral, supervised visits.
“These are €100 a [four-hour] visit and I can’t afford it,” said the mother.
She confirmed 10am to 2pm on a Saturday were the agreed parameters.
“Can you not trust the father?” asked Judge Desmond Zaidan.
“At some point, you got to let it go.
“Listen to me, [named child) is old enough, and if you get between [child] and his dad you may see short-term gains, but when he turns 18 he will turn on you,” warned the judge.
“You have to trust him for a few hours. You bore his child for him,” noted the judge.
“I’m not trying to keep [child] from his father, but he has been mentally and physically abusive to both me and his present girlfriend," alleged the mother.
"He doesn’t come home after drinking, then he’s breaking up the house, and recently I saw him under the effect of cocaine in town, “ she continued.
“Think of how many hours in the week, 24 x 7 [168], and he only has him for four of these,” said the judge.
“My sister-in-law has offered to supervise, but he refused,” she said.
“The last time he saw him was back in July,” she said.
“Some of what she said was untrue,” claimed the father.
“The sister-in-law has a sister who is an ex,” he explained.
“My sister-in-law doesn’t let him around her kids,” said the mother.
"Mr [named father] is taking great strides to deal with his mental health," offered his barrister.
“I’ve done nothing wrong,” claimed the father.
“Yes, you have,” retorted the mother.
“”My son has come home and said his dad has hit his girlfriend in front of him,” she alleged.
“That’s hearsay!” said the defending barrister.
“Tit-for-tat and mud-slinging from both sides,” noted the judge.
“My parents won’t allow her in the house after what she said about them,” he claimed.
“I’m really worried. This hasn’t stopped. He sent me a message last week telling me he’d tell the judge it was all my fault,” she said.
“I know he’s had his demons, but hopefully the rough part of his life is over,” said the judge.
"You've both got to rise above what's happened in the past," said Judge Zaidan.
“I’m asking you guys to reach a compromise,” he asked.
She agreed to meet in a named coffee house and will personally supervise visitation for the next fortnight until a Tusla review is ready.
The judge adjourned a final decision until 22 October for this.
