“I had everything, and yet I had no peace” — Kildare man talks about finding God and redemption
The famous John 3:16 Bible verse
“I HAVE no worries as such, because I trust in God. He has done things in my life that have just knocked me for six. I was struggling with drink, to the point that I ended up standing on a bridge, ready to jump in, finish it all – it's all I wanted to do. And this was even before I knew him. I remember standing on that bridge thinking all I had to do was fall, that was it, it was over. And somehow that night he brought me home.
"I remember sitting at home in the kitchen, on my own, in the dark, crying out to him — 'if you're up there, you need to do something.'
“That night, whatever drink was in the house — I poured it down the sink. Now that was nothing new, because I did that before and then just restocked again, but I said 'listen, if you're up there at all, you need to do something.'. And he did. That was about 27 years ago he took that away, and never since have I had a drink ... he saved me from that.
“But I honestly believe there and then he was telling me more than that. I could almost hear him saying, 'Listen, Nolan, I can do more than take your drink away, I can take your sin away.' And at that stage I was going 'what sin? What're you on about?'”
So recalls Kildare man John Nolan, who grew up in Kildare town and emigrated to Newbridge by way of Monasterevin.
John is one of the leaders of Newbridge Bible Fellowship Church, a welcoming and non-denominational community in Roseberry on the edge of the town.
The church started in July 1990, with a small group of people meeting in a pre-fab, and has grown over the intervening years. It’s a warm, family-friendly place to learn about God and make friends.
Rewinding back through the years, John recounted how his wife and kids ended up going to the church – he wasn’t interested at the time.
“Eventually the kids used to come to me and one of the biggest points was my youngest daughter, she was somewhere between four and six, I was putting her to bed one night and turning the light out and closing the door, she said 'Dad, will you be in heaven with us when you die?'
"And of course I said 'oh yeah, yeah, sure, yeah' and I closed the door, I went out and it started to bother me."
His ‘Road to Damascus’ moment arrived one Good Friday evening, when he was down in the church and someone was doing a mime on the crucifixion.
“I was sitting there and next thing the seat – I was like a hen on a hot griddle, I couldn't stay easy,” he said. When it was over he got in the car, dropped his family home, then took off and ended up out in the middle of the Curragh.
“This was before the new road and everything went in there, and there was a circuit around there just before the racecourse and I started to drive around that, and I got faster and faster, and then for some reason I turned out the lights and kept going and kept going faster and faster, couldn't see a bloody thing, I was driving just pure out of memory,” John recounted.
“I can never explain the feeling that was inside that car, but the hair was standing on the back of my neck and I was afraid in that car. I remember driving, I was going fairly fast and then I hit the brakes and all I heard was the tyres screeching along the road and the car going sideways and stopping. (I said) 'okay Lord, I know who you are, I am a sinner, will you please, please forgive me and just accept me, please'. And all of a sudden the tension (disappeared).
"I sat there for a few minutes and then I drove home. But I knew there and then that I realised he died on the cross for me and it was only through his sacrifice on the cross for me and for all of mankind could I ever avoid the wrath of God and the punishment of hell.
“One verse he stuck in my head from the very beginning is that 'there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus'. And every time I'd fall I'd go back to this and go 'really?' And the Spirit of God would go 'yeah, read it again'.”
John, who once worked for behemoths like Microsoft, told the that before, in his work, in his life, he had everything he wanted.
“I had the big money, I had the stock options, I had the company car, I had everything, and yet I had no peace,” he said. These days it’s a different story.
“There is no sin that he will not forgive,” he said of God.
“But if you reject him, you're gone, you're destined for hell and that's it, there is no coming back from that. But you have up until your very last breath to accept Christ. Not through a church or anything else, a personal relationship between you and him. That's what it has to be.”
For those interested in learning more, the doors of Newbridge Bible Fellowship Church are always open.
“(People are) more than welcome, any time, to come, to listen, even to talk to anybody... if you're worried about the crowd or other people – don't, it can be done privately,” John explained. “But don't miss the opportunity.”
