Kildare woman pens book to help children navigate grief

A NAAS native and entrepreneur has turned her own experience of childhood loss into a book aimed at helping children cope with grief.

Rebecca James, originally from Naas, recently published I Miss Mam, a short, illustrated story designed to support children who have lost a parent.

Now based in Galway, the 26-year-old said the idea for the book had been on her mind for years before she finally decided to bring it to life.

“I’d been thinking about creating something around this topic for a few years, but every time the idea came up I’d push it down and tell myself I wasn’t ready,” she said.

“That changed when I asked myself a question: if I only had one year left to live, what would I want to leave behind?” This led Rebecca towards creating a resource for children and adults to help them with grief.

Rebecca moved to Galway in 2017 to study Business with Irish at university, where she first developed an interest in entrepreneurship.

Since graduating in 2021, she has travelled widely and now works as a life coach supporting women in business.

Through online sessions, she combines breathwork, dance and writing exercises to help entrepreneurs regulate stress and prioritise themselves.

Her self-published book follows an 11-year-old girl named Saoirse, who is learning to navigate life after the recent death of her mother.

“I kept the language very simple,” Ms James said, noting the helpful guidance she received from a therapist while writing the story.

“Even the title reflects what a child might say: ‘I miss mam.’” The story is also deeply personal. Rebecca told the Kildare Nationalist of how she lost her own mother, Fiona, to breast cancer when she was just 11-years old.

“The main reason I wrote this book is for 11-year-old me. I would have loved to have had something simple, short and helpful.

“It’s very personal to me – this is the exact book that I would have needed.”

The narrative introduces small coping tools throughout the story, including the idea of finding “signs of comfort” that remind someone of the person they have lost.

In the book, Saoirse associates butterflies with her mother.

Readers are also encouraged to reflect on their own feelings through prompts such as asking what message they might want to hear from a loved one who is watching over them.

One of the main messages she hopes readers take from the story is that grief can feel isolating, especially for children, but to remember that you are not alone.

“In a classroom of 20 children, if one child has lost a parent, they can feel like they’re the only person in the world who has experienced that,” she said.

“Grief can also become a taboo topic. People are comfortable talking about it in the days or weeks after a loss, but after that everyone goes back to their lives, and the loneliness can be very heavy.” Writing the book was also a healing process for Ms James herself.

“It showed me how far I’ve come,” she said. “Even a year or two ago, I would have found it very difficult to speak openly about my story without crying. Now I can share it from a more grounded place.”

The book was officially launched at a small event in Barna, Co Galway, attended by friends and family. James said seeing readers react emotionally to the story confirmed its impact.

“Some people were crying while reading it. It felt really good to see the direct impact,” she said.

Rebecca plans to hold future readings and hopes to bring the book to schools and community organisations, with an exciting event also planned in London later this month.

I Miss Mam is currently self-published and available to order through Rebecca’s Instagram page, @rebeccajamescoach.

Alongside the book, she is also developing an online community and workshops for women navigating the loss of their mothers, offering resources, meditations and a supportive space to share experiences.

A sign-up sheet will be available in the bio of her Instagram page.

For Rebecca, the goal of the book is simple.

She hopes that children reading her book find comfort in it.

“I hope that they feel a little bit lighter, that they feel like they’re not alone. That they have something they can bring with them if they ever need.”