'I found strength I didn’t know I had': Kildare woman talks about living with Alzheimer's 

A KILDARE woman diagnosed with young-onset Alzheimer’s disease in her early forties has shared her story in the hope of breaking stigma and encouraging greater understanding of dementia in the country.

Maureen Garry (68) was diagnosed shortly after being widowed and left to raise her four young children alone – a life-changing moment she describes as terrifying and isolating.

Young-onset dementia refers to cases diagnosed under the age of 65. Dementia itself is an umbrella term for conditions that cause damage to the brain, with Alzheimer’s disease the most common form.

Maureen now lives surrounded by family, with her four adult children and seven grandchildren all living on the same road.

“I was terrified and had four young children to look after,” she said of her diagnosis. “It was life-changing. I was lost, scared and lonely. But over time, I found strength I didn’t know I had.” 

One of the immediate changes she made was to stop driving, despite having just bought her first brand-new car.

“I never got to drive it. I couldn’t take the chance,” she said. “Imagine how difficult that was with four young children.” 

Maureen who lives in Maynooth said the condition has gradually made everyday tasks difficult, from getting dressed to tying shoelaces.

Once very independent, she now stays close to home and rarely goes out alone.

She recalled bringing her children by herself to Disneyland in France before her diagnosis, driving abroad for the first time with only a six-year-old as her co-pilot.

“Those memories remind me how much Alzheimer’s has changed my life, but they also remind me of my strength,” she said.

She credits her partner, Peter, with helping her manage daily life and stay positive.

Maureen believes public misunderstanding remains one of the biggest challenges facing people living with dementia.

“People often don’t really understand what dementia is, and I think that’s the biggest misunderstanding of all,” she said.

“There are still stigma and fear around it, simply because people don’t know enough about the condition.

“People can feel unsure of what to say or do when they don’t understand something. That’s why the dementia-inclusive community work happening here in Kildare is so important – it helps people understand dementia more.

“There are so many different types of dementia, and fear can still be a big problem for many people.

“If I am out and I need help, I’ll turn to the person beside me and say, 'I have a type of dementia – would you mind helping me, please?' It might be something simple, like helping me with my coat or showing me where the bathroom is.

“This has been my personal experience, and everyone’s dementia is different – but understanding and kindness make a huge difference,” she said.

Maureen became involved with the Irish Dementia Working Group after her daughter, who is an occupational therapist, discovered it online.

“I went to my first meeting, came home, and announced to my family, ‘These are my people,’” she said.

The national advocacy group is made up of people living with dementia who campaign for improved supports and awareness.

“Everybody matters. Everyone has a nugget of wisdom, and when we are all working in the same room, it truly is amazing. We may be struggling with similar issues and challenges, but we are doing something about it.

“We all have a purpose and being a member of the Irish Dementia Working Group helps us all find that purpose.” To those newly diagnosed, she offers reassurance.

“This is not the end – it’s the start of a new beginning,” she said. “Your voice is what protects you. Be honest; people are helpful. Trust your gut.

“Make sure to take all the support you can. Make contact with The Alzheimer Society of Ireland. You don’t have to go through this on your own.” 

She also advises those with dementia to not dwell on the past unless they are good memories.

“Don’t look back unless it makes you smile,” she said. “Don’t sit in the corner doing the stinking thinking. Look for the moments that make you smile – they’re still there.” Helen McLeane, manager of the charity’s Kildare Day Care Centre in Kildangan, said community awareness initiatives can transform lives.

She said: “The Alzheimer Society of Ireland's Friends of ASI initiative is about empowering communities to better understand dementia and support the people and families who live with it every day.

“In the Kildare Day Care Centre in Kildangan, we see every day the challenges our clients face – and we also see how much of a difference simple kindness, patience and understanding can make.

“When local people, businesses and services take even small steps to be more aware and welcoming, it lifts people’s confidence and helps them stay connected to their community. 

"It’s fantastic to see Friends of ASI coming to Kildare, building that awareness and helping create communities where people living with dementia feel understood and valued.”

 A dementia-inclusive community event hosted by the charity’s Friends of ASI initiative will take place at the Keadeen Hotel in Newbridge on 26 February at 7pm, bringing together organisations and residents to explore how communities can better support those affected.

The Alzheimer Society of Ireland National Helpline is available on 1800 341 341 or via alzheimer.ie.