Fit Focus: Making peace with your inner critic

WE all know that voice. It’s the one that pipes up after a missed workout, whispering, “You’re so lazy.” It’s the harsh commentator after a presentation, insisting, “You stumbled over your words—they all think you’re incompetent”.

This is our inner critic, and for most of us, it feels like a relentless enemy, a source of anxiety and self-doubt that holds us back from our goals.

But what if we’ve been misunderstanding this voice all along? What if, with a little perspective, this perceived foe could become one of our most valuable allies in our health and fitness journey?

The truth is, your inner critic isn’t inherently evil. At its core, it’s a misguided protector.

Its original, primitive job was to keep us safe — to warn us of social rejection, failure, and danger. In the context of our modern lives, this often translates into a hyper-focus on our performance, our bodies, and our perceived shortcomings.

The problem isn’t the critic’s existence, but its method. It operates with a blunt instrument, using shame and fear to try and steer us, tactics that are about as effective for personal growth as yelling at a plant to make it grow faster.

The first step in transforming this relationship is to perform a simple, yet profound, audit of your inner dialogue.

For one day, truly listen to the things you say to yourself.

It may be something along the lines of ‘I have no willpower’, ‘My body is wrong’ or ‘I’ll never be able to do that.’ Now, pause and ask yourself the crucial question: would I ever say this to my best friend, my partner, or even a stranger?

The answer is almost universally a resounding no. You would never look at a friend who was struggling to get to the gym and tell them they are lazy and undisciplined. You would offer encouragement, understanding that they are human and that some days are harder than others. You would highlight their effort, not just the outcome.

Yet, we reserve our most toxic, unforgiving language for the one person we are with every moment of every day: ourselves. This double standard is the very heart of the issue. We are operating with a brutal, internal dictatorship while offering compassion to everyone else.

So, how do we turn the critic into a coach? It begins with a conscious shift from judgment to curious, compassionate inquiry.

When your critic shouts, “You skipped your run, you’ve ruined your entire fitness plan!” don’t engage in the fight or accept the verdict. Instead, pause and reframe the thought with kindness. Respond with, “It’s true, I didn’t run today. I was feeling tired and overwhelmed. Rest is part of the process, too. I’ll try again tomorrow.” This isn’t making excuses; it’s applying the same rational, supportive logic you would offer a loved one.

This practice is not just feel-good fluff; it’s a critical component of sustainable success. Shame is a terrible motivator. It might drive you for a short burst, but it ultimately leads to burnout, rebellion (like binge-eating after a restrictive diet), and a fractured sense of self-worth.

Compassion, on the other hand, builds resilience. When you treat a setback not as a catastrophic failure but as a data point — a chance to learn — you build a foundation of trust with yourself. You become someone who can stumble, get back up, and keep going without a cascade of self-loathing.

Start by giving your critic a name, perhaps a silly one. When “General Grumble” starts in with his harsh rhetoric, you can acknowledge his presence without letting him take the wheel. “Ah, there’s the general, worried about me again. Thanks for the input, but I’ve got this.” This creates psychological distance and reminds you that these thoughts are not absolute truths; they are just thoughts.

In your fitness journey, this translates directly to your goals.

A critic says: ‘You can’t even lift that weight, you’re so weak.’ A coach says: ‘That weight is challenging right now, which means it’s the perfect place to grow. Let’s focus on your form and celebrate the attempt.’ One voice shuts down progress; the other empowers it.

Your inner critic will likely always be with you. But its power doesn’t have to come from cruelty. By learning to listen, reframe, and respond with the profound kindness you so freely give to others, you can transform it from a saboteur into a strategist.

Your health and fitness are a lifelong journey, not a sprint to a finish line. Walk that path with a supportive friend in your head, not a brutal enemy. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself — make it a kind one.